BLOG 74 – DADS HAVE A ROLE IN BIRTH TOO!

In blog 74: At antenatal class, Tina provides the men with tools for labour. Jake learns that he has an important role to play too.

At the antenatal class, I find it really helpful when Tina teaches the men how to do hip squeezes. When big strong hands apply counter pressure during a contraction, it all becomes a lot more bearable. I can see that Jake, and most of the other men in the class, appreciate being given tools that will empower them to participate and do something rather than simply standing by, feeling helpless. Tina also warns the prospective dads not to command, or demand anything, or try to control the process. They shouldn’t get too wrapped up in technology, she says, but most importantly they should let the birthing mother and baby find their rhythm, dance their dance.

“Oh, and don’t take anything personally,” she laughs.

Tina’s closing words are really affirming. “Childbirth,” she says, “is a normal, healthy life event for most women. Of course there can be problems – perhaps minor, perhaps more serious. For most women, however, birth is a healthy challenge – one of many she will face as a mother. You should look forward to the time of your baby’s birth with anticipation and celebration, not gloom, dread and fear. It is an experience denied to many, so appreciate it.”

Okay, so now I know about birth pain – or, as Tina calls it, labour pain – and me, but what about Brandon? How will birth pain affect him? Jake and I decide to keep that question for when we next visit Miriam.

The pregnancy shoot is fun and distracts me from my preoccupation with pain, as does the arrival of Brandon’s furniture and curtains. Finding a place for his clothes, nappies, ointments and the zillion other things a baby simply has to have (according to the mags, blogs and tweets) fills many happy hours. I am constantly drawn to his room to unpack and repack, move the soft toys here, then there; sit in the rocker trying to imagine what it will be like to be a mom. I even take the pram for a test drive every so often when Jake isn’t home – crazy, I know, but it feels good, even if I am starting to feel out of breath and very uncomfortable.

Otte, T. 2007. Pregnancy and Birth. London: New Holland.

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