BLOG 70 – ARE PREGNANCY AND BIRTH ABOUT MOM, OR BABY?

In blog 70: Sky’s view of birth and whether a baby feels welcome and able to relax – or stressed out and painfully alone – strikes a deep chord with Zani. She realises that pregnancy and birth is in fact not only about mom, as she used to think …

I am dumbstruck. I have always thought of the mother as the main act in pregnancy, with the baby in a supportive role. But listening to Sky now, I realise pregnancy and birth are about the baby – the mother in a supportive role. This isn’t about me having a baby – it is about me having the privilege of giving and shaping an innocent and vulnerable life.

Jake looks at Sky and Seth in admiration, and then turns to me for confirmation.

Then he thanks them for helping us see pregnancy and birth – and, for that matter, humanity – in a whole new light. He assures Sky that he can find nothing irrational in what she has to say; to the contrary, he says, it feels completely valid.

“The truth,” he says, “often has very little to do with proven facts and logic, and even less with quantitative research; it is far greater than any mind. The truth, I believe, is what ennobles – that what makes us, others and the world a better place, and what you have just described, ennobles. Thank you for that.”

Sky looks at me wistfully, “Are you okay?”

“To be honest, my mind is racing, but my heart is at ease. I can see that you have thought this through and that your intention is one hundred percent positive. I have a lot to think about, but as Jake said, thank you, it’s been a very special day.”

Back home, I really need to talk to Vee, and Saturday is just too far off.

I manage to wait till Monday morning – I know I can call even if it is still relatively early for most; for Vee there is no such thing as ‘too early’ – she is up and baking at six, Monday to Saturday.

“Hey, Zani, lovely to hear from you. How are you?”

“Hi, Ma Vee, I’m good thanks. You?”

“Happy as a lark, my dear. I found this new recipe for cinnamon buns and am trying it out as we speak. What’s so wonderful is that it’s wheat free! So many guests nowadays say they’re wheat intolerant.”

“Wow. Please will you let me know how they turn out?” I pause before I continue.

“Vee, I need a bit of girl talk … Would you be free for a while after the shop closes today?”

“Zani, you okay?”

“Yes, Vee, I’m fine. Promise. I just need a bit of Vee wisdom.”

“Then I’m free! Come past my house on your way home and I’ll make sure there’s a fire going.”

Vee never sticks to normal office hours; she always says she is old enough to do just as she pleases. She is an early riser so she opens at the crack of dawn and has become known for her coffee and brown-paper-bags-on-the-go.

Armed with the knowledge I have about the relationship between smell and emotional well-being, I have a suspicion that many people pop into the Two Tarts just to get a whiff and feel of home.

But because Vee opens early, she closes early. She says – somewhat controversially, I know – that women should be home by 4 pm to care for their families, so she encourages them to do so by closing shop at 3.45. Like I’ve said, she is a nutcase!

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