Recap for Blog 34 – Why am I feeling so huge?: Zani can only marvel at the way the three parts of Baby’s brain and its body parts are taking shape. How on earth does each cell know what it is to become part of, which genes to use and which to ignore at any given moment?
Two weeks pass, bringing many more subtle and even not-so-subtle changes. The morning sickness has increased in intensity and duration – until one fine day when I discover that dry crackers, Granny Smith apples and cold water are my new best friends. I eat and drink crate-loads of the stuff, relieved to feel the nausea subside. That bloated feeling lingers on, though, and I feel huge, but the scale doesn’t groan and my clothes still fit perfectly.
I’ve read somewhere that when the way you feel and the way you look differs, sensors in the skin are faulty. Apparently, that’s also what happens to people who suffer from anorexia – their ‘feeling’ sensors misread their size, despite what they see for themselves in the mirror. It’s strange to me that a person would choose to believe what he or she feels rather than what they see, or what others say. Mmm, maybe that’s because the skin (the sense of ‘touch’) develops first – well ahead of the development of eyes and ears – and, like an older sister, has a bit of a head start.
But apparently it helps to give the feeling sensors that read your body size a wake-up call by scrubbing the body with a natural sponge, or a rubber brush and then to apply moisturiser with firm and deep strokes or to go for a massage regularly – although I’ve been warned to check that any massage I opt for is pregnancy safe! Not all are safe.
Isn’t it amazing how the mind and the body seem to work together? Because your feeling sensors are confused, you feel big and ugly and the last thing you feel like doing is touching your body or doing any of the pampering you would normally do. And then, because you’re not touching your body, the body sensors get even more confused and you feel even bigger and uglier!
After just a couple of days contemplating all of this, and muttering in irritation at myself, I decide I simply must phone the midwife. My hormones are obviously seriously confused, and to top it all I have become terribly embarrassed about the fact that I can’t seem to stop passing wind anywhere and at any time. That’s what men do, not girls! Of course, it has crossed my mind that I am expecting a boy and it is him practising! But still, seriously, this is not okay.
I decide I won’t call the GP, because I just know what she’ll say – “It’s all perfectly normal, Zani” – so I dial Miriam’s number. The midwife will be much more helpful, I think.
“But it’s all perfectly normal, Zani,” laughs Miriam.
“No, no! Don’t say that, Miriam. It’s not normal for me!”
She giggles. “What I meant is that, yes, it’s embarrassing but it’s normal in the first trimester. Because the nausea can get too much, you probably gulp your food down to relieve the nausea and in so doing swallow a lot of air. The air needs to escape – up or down.”
“So if I try taking smaller bites and eating slower, it should go away?”
“Yes, it should.”
“Thank you! That’s such a relief – no pun intended!”