BLOG 9 – A THREE MONTH PREP, FOR REAL?

Recap to A three month prep, for real?: The special dinner Zani arranged has had the desired effect. Not entirely due to the menu, of course, surely those high heels also played a part …

The next morning, we sleep in a little. When you’re married and hold down a full-time job, that’s what you do on a Saturday morning: you sleep as late as possible, wake when you want, drink coffee and skim through the news on your phone. Only this morning the routine is a little different. Jake brews some coffee for himself and pours some herbal tea for me; then, file tucked under his arm – the news can wait, this is important – he pulls up the blinds, throws open the windows and gets back into bed with me. This is file time – all about a three month prep!

Jake takes the lead and delivers a faultless presentation of his findings.

“Sweetie, what I understand about preconceptual care is that it gets Mom and Dad ready to fall pregnant. But one of the problems – can’t remember where I read it – is that sometimes a woman may not even realise she’s pregnant.”

Many parents live fast-paced lives and work on the philosophy – work hard, play hard.

Raised eyebrows. I can see his mind ticking over.

“Nothing wrong with working or playing, of course,” he continues after a bit. “It’s just the rest of it may be a little – er … – let’s say ‘prohibiting’. The effects of smoking, alcohol and drugs …” A smile plays on his lips. “Even legitimate over-the-counter drugs, I mean. Like medication. And the lack of sleep, too. These things can take their toll on the body, on lifestyle, even on relationships.”

He has clearly done his homework.

“Research shows that a couple [I notice it isn’t a matter of ‘we’ yet] need to prepare their bodies for at least three months before they start trying to fall pregnant. This article,” he says, waving a printout, “is a summary of the areas people need to focus on to increase fertility and create the best possible environment in which to conceive a baby.”

‘A baby’, not ‘our baby’.

I am paying attention to semantics here.

“Here, take a look … You’ll see there are four main areas a couple should pay attention to: health, nutrition, exercise and stress.”

I am so impressed with my man as he sits there on the bed, cross-legged and with his early-morning stubble. Here he is, approaching what is clearly a very emotional and sensitive issue for both him and me in such a clear-headed and practical manner. Of course, Anxiety is desperate to chime in and point out that he is talking about preconceptual care as though it has nothing to do with us, but I refuse to be swayed. This is Jake’s noble attempt at perspective, and I am going to let him have his say.

I take his printout, and settle back against the pillows. This is going to be interesting.

1 Health

The health of both partners is important and determines the quality of the male’s sperm and the female’s egg. The quality of the sperm and the egg determines the quality of the product of their fusion – a baby.

• A health check is advised.
• Visit the GP for a general check-up.
• A full sexual health screen for both partners – including a cervical smear for the female – will identify any infections.
• The female needs to ensure that she is rubella immune (contracting rubella in early pregnancy can lead to deafness, blindness and disability in the baby).
• Both partners should check their individual family histories each on their fraternal [I notice he’s scribbled ‘father’ in the margin] and on their maternal [again, ‘mother’ in the margin] sides to note any illnesses or handicaps and, if needed, undergo genetic screening.
• There is a link between what partners eat, and their hormonal balance.

Hormones are manufactured from nutrients in food and in the absence of a fully functional digestive system in both partners, nutrients cannot be broken down and absorbed in the cells to produce healthy sperm and eggs. Junk food can lead to hormonal chaos.

• To maintain health, attention needs to be paid to both nutrition and exercise.

So far, so good, I think. Although I knew there’d be an issue with junk food. While I have to admit that Jake does tend to take really good care of himself, there is still the beer, the burgers … He is going to struggle, I just know it.

2 Nutrition

• Acid-alkalinity balance needs to be 20/80. A female’s body needs to be alkaline for optimum fertility and sperm reception. The male body needs to be alkaline for optimum sperm production. Meat, fish, carbonated drinks [‘fizzy drinks’ scrawled in the margin], grains, peas, beans, lentils and nuts improve acidity, while fruit, vegetables, dairy products and green leafy vegetables like spinach and broccoli improve alkalinity.
• Blood-sugar levels need to stay level for optimum hormone production. To maintain blood-sugar levels, eat a balanced meal starting with breakfast. Eat often, and chew properly.
• Overweight males and females will benefit from a healthy eating and exercise programme.

Do not diet [his underlining here does not go unnoticed], especially diets with very high protein intake, because that disturbs the acid-alkaline balance. A weight gain of between 8 and 13 kilograms is generally advised. During pregnancy weight gain in excess of 15 kilograms tends to lower the IQ of the baby.

• Underweight women [Huh? What’s that? And where can I buy some?] may be undernourished and thus produce undernourished babies. These babies grow up to have difficulties with sensory-motor integration and fine motor skills; language can be delayed; they may score lower on IQ tests, perform poorly at school and tend to have more behavioural problems.

Whew! I am already beginning to feel the pressure.

Falling pregnant is not for sissies, that’s for sure. And a whole three month prep … I look over at Jake. He is watching me as I read, trying to gauge my reactions as I scan over his notes. I know what he is waiting for, what he wants me to say, but he isn’t going to crack me that easily.

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